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cubchoo:

a shocking but not unwelcome twist

cubchoo:

a shocking but not unwelcome twist

(via pocrackle)

15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance

tkyle:

me accepting the ice bucket challenge

image

you

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(via allteensrelate)

scott-pilgrimage:

whosromeo:

i think it’s cute when someone admits they have a crush on you

i think it’s a fucking miracle 

(via hotboyproblems)

opentheairforfreshwindows:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

brave-fart:

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta way

he just ran out of thyme

here today, gone tomato

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

we never sausage a tragedy coming

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world

spaghetti

(via pocrackle)

theladypipsqueak:

salparadisewasright:

theladypipsqueak:

MY MOM DECIDED THAT SINCE I FUCKING HATE CLEANING THE LITTERBOX FOR MY DUMB CATS SHE’S ACTUALLY MAKE ME A FUCKING LITTERBOX CAKE. THIS IS A FUCKING CAKE. THOSE ARE SLIGHTLY MELTED TOOTSIE ROLLS. THOSE ARE LOTS OF COOKIE CRUMBLES. BUT IT LOOKS FUCKING REAL. I ATE THIS IN A RESTAURANT. I RECIEVED WORRIED STARES FROM OTHER PATRONS AS I FEASTED UPON FUCKING CAT POOP. MY BABY SISTER REFUSED TO LET ME EAT THE TOOTSIE ROLLS BECAUSE SHE WAS ONE HUNDRED PERCENT CONVINCED IT WAS POOP, SHE RIPPED IT OUT OF MY HANDS AND THREW IT BACK IT THE PAN.

"SISSY!" SOMEONE WAS LOOKING ON HORRIFIED AS SHE GRABBED THE DISTURBING LOOKING CANDY OUT OF MY HAND. "DONT EAT POOP SISSY!"

a li tter box cae k„

congratulations on turning 91

thanks

(via sparklyflareon)

davidbyrne:

i love laughing about the friend zone because it’s so dumb like you know most of those dudes aren’t even IN the “friend zone” they’re in the “ugh god not this dude again” zone

(via sloshes)

officialwhitegirls:

communistbakery:

never gonna give y

odelling lessons

(via allteensrelate)

scruffyfrank:

american horror story: murder house

scruffyfrank:

american horror story: murder house

(via skid-ney)

pissedachios:

pissedachios:

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?

oh sheet

(via officialfrenchtoast)

anacondom:

this is sucriya. she accessorizes her catholic school uniform with a different scarf every day, which every teacher writes her up for. when my principal walked up to her and pointed to her scarf and said “what’s this?” she said 
"sister, that’s fashion"
and just walked away

anacondom:

this is sucriya. she accessorizes her catholic school uniform with a different scarf every day, which every teacher writes her up for. when my principal walked up to her and pointed to her scarf and said “what’s this?” she said 

"sister, that’s fashion"

and just walked away

(via joshpeck)

peonymoonflower:

whiteboyfriend:

LOOK AT HIM


Eren jeager plays football

peonymoonflower:

whiteboyfriend:

LOOK AT HIM

Eren jeager plays football

(via flomation)

wolveroonie:

'what kind of guy would leave a usb key containing highly classified intelligence behind two pieces of gum in a vending machine'

probz the same kind of guy who hides his spare house key under a haphazard cinderblock that literally anyone could kick over by accident

image

(via teamfreekickass)